Day 2 - Morning
I hadn’t slept well. No wonder: I had been lying awake for hours thinking about this meeting and my fantasies and my life at large.
There had to be a change – that thought was finding its way from the depth of my mind, getting clearer and clearer. It seemed as if these fantasies had always been there, but never surfaced. I had to let them come up.
I felt like I could not go on suppressing, what was obviously so strong, so luring. I just did not know how to proceed. Confess to my assistant?
Fraternize with him and kneel in front of him from time to time? Confess to the IT guy? Ask him what I could do for him and then bend over?
Confess to my husband? Ruin my marriage? And do what? My head was in a whirl when I drove to work in my Porsche.
I felt so alone, so lost. I wished I was one step further and I was sure about my feelings: was I really a submissive, a woman badly in need of dirty sex? How would I ever find the right words to tell my husband?
“Listen, from now on, I will be on my knees whenever you want to.” ? Hmmm, too unspecific! It could as well mean we’d fire our cleaning lady.
“Listen, you can give me a spanking whenever you feel I deserve it.” ? Too explicit for a start!
Meanwhile I was downtown, stopping in front of the last light before our high-rise office building. I was watching people stream by and regretted being alone, hidden in my clean, aseptic car. Shielded from the life out there, from their smelling bodies, sounds and touches. I suddenly felt the urge to be among them. To be pushed and jostled, felt up. Stop! Not again! It was getting clear to me that there was this sexual notion again. I didn’t just want to be near them. I wanted to be touched. Taken. Pushed down. On my knees.
The girl in the car behind my honked the horn and I started up. I accelerated and dashed into the garage below our office building. I parked near the elevators on one of the slots especially assigned to women. Very easy, comfortable and secure. But did I want that? Maybe... No! Forget it. I grabbed my bag and got the nearest elevator together with two other women. One of my age, the other so young that she could probably only be an intern. I wondered why I immediately started thinking of the oval office and promised myself I would double-check what department she was assigned to. They both greeted me, I greeted back and smiled.
When the elevator stopped on ground floor the masses rushed in, more greeting, more hellos. There it was! I had contact. I pressed myself in the corner and toyed with the idea to ask that big fat man in front of me to come to my office in half an hour. Again the wish to service a complete stranger, maybe ask him, what I could do for him, certainly kneel in front of him, lick him, taste his cum after all.
I got off on the top floor, the last stop and I was alone. Finally! I sighed and decided to concentrate on the reports from finance today. I couldn’t go on with these day dreams for long. They were driving me mad. I felt worked up when I arrived at my desk, but was quite confident I could make it through the day without major interruptions and get some of the work done which was waiting for me. Five minutes later I was on the internet searching for “submissive women”, “whipping” and “how to reveal it to your partner”. When I left my desk at 6 p.m I hadn’t even looked at the finance reports.
That same night.
„Do you want to make love?“
„Greg, we have to talk!“
That’s how it all started.
Day 3 - Evening
Back home again. Greg was already in. I kicked of my pumps, left my bag in the hallway and fell on the large lounge chair on the porch. Greg came down to greet me. A big long kiss. No embarrassment on both sides, because of what had happened last night.
“Everything OK with you?” he said.
“Feeling great.” I paused. “And I wanted to thank you and tell you how much I loved it last night!”
He grinned: “Great. So, are we serious about it?”
“So, do you want to go all the way?”
“Wherever you lead me!”
“Fine. Suits me. You were great the way you are.” He looked at me. A long, tender look. And we kissed again. He fingered me as if he had to make sure of his possessions and check if I had obeyed his order to take of my slip. We stopped kissing and he smiled at me.
“Why don’t you go take a shower? And come down again as soon as you are ready?”
“Yes, ready! Freshened up, soaped up, rinsed, shaved your pubic hair, perfumed and naked. Except for the red lipstick that you put on and the shoes I left up there.”
“Shoes? Lipstick? Okaaaay.” I wondered what was in store for me and I wanted to find out right now.
I quickly got up and made my way upstairs, took off my dress, my bra and looked at myself, still wearing my stockings. I was naked, except for the jewellery. Still in good shape, was my first thought. Forty-two years old, my breasts well shaped, still very firm although they were D-size, large light brown aureoles, small nipples. My waist still quite well shaped, not exactly as an eighteen year’s old, but still the hourglass type silhouette, very womanly, very feminine, not girlish. Lush firm buttocks, long legs.
Sensuous lips. Both. Very attractive. Most men loved full, curved lips to kiss and do for them what they enjoyed most. As for the “other lips” the two soft folds of my labia minora were actually quite fleshy and protuberant. Greg always assured me he adored them. Then I saw these shoes! Black shining leather high-heels, at least six inches high, stiletto-type. They looked cheap and very kinky. Was I supposed to wear those? Gosh!
I sat down on the rim of the bath tub and started inspecting my pubic hair. I had been shaving myself for a long time, probably since I had my first real boy friend who did more to me than just kissing. I found myself in pretty good order, but Greg had explicitly mentioned it. So I took the razor and carefully eradicated each hair on or near my pussy lips. Why he had mentioned it I could only guess.
More to come...